Wednesday, September 30, 2009

More reasons why I'm feeling good about the HKC experience

I'm not going to lie: if I'd passed I would be feeling even better. But that's just my neuroses talking.

You know how we all supposedly have an inner child? Mine is a fat kid with coke-bottle glasses who is picked last for every team and gets beaten up a lot for being "different." My inner child expects to fail. Every setback reinforces her low self-esteem ... or would if I allowed it.

Fortunately, I am not my inner child. As the parents among you are well aware, it's no kindness to let the little ones call the shots, because they don't know what's in their own best interests. If I allowed my inner child to dictate my actions I would never leave my house because every excursion outside would mean putting myself out there for someone to judge and reject me! Okay, that's maybe a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea.

(My apologies if this is too woo-woo for some of you!)

Anyway, my point here is that going to HKC was a huge step outside my comfort zone. But I took it, even though it was very hard for me. Everything that went wrong in the weeks, days, and hours leading up to the event—the ear infection, the food poisoning, the bits of worrying news from friends and family, the seemingly endless flight delays, and so on and so on—seemed like a sign from on high that this was Not Meant To Be.

But I persisted. So, credit where it’s due, and while this may not seem too impressive to most of you, for me it’s a big deal. Although of course it will be a bigger deal once I have earned that HKC designation :)