Getting off my "but," with some help from Rachel Cosgrove

Even fitness professionals have moments of self-doubt. Lately I've been having lots of them.

Partly I think it's been because I've been feeling a bit under the weather physically. I picked up a bug of some kind while I was traveling to Chicago for my grandfather's funeral, and I've been having trouble shaking it off. I've been trying to keep up with my workouts, but the energy and focus hasn't been there, and my performance has been lackluster as a result.

The other part of the problem-the real part-is mental. I've been wondering: is the RKC a realistic goal for me at my age, with my lack of a fitness background? My brilliant career (hah!) as a ballerina was cut short by a badly broken ankle at age 15, and after that the only exercise I got on a regular basis was the mental gymnastics required to come up with a convincing excuse for getting out of gym class. It wasn't until I was in my late 30s that I began anything remotely resembling a fitness program, and even then my goals we pretty much limited to fat loss, stress reduction, and avoidance of some of the health problems (diabetes, osteoporosis, high blood pressure) that run in my family. It never occurred to me that I might one day make fitness my career, or even that I might turn out to have an aptitude for strength training.

True, there are athletes in my family-- a cousin who danced professionally, a grandfather who boxed his way through graduate school--but my parents themselves have never valued physical accomplishments. My mother in particular has very poor balance and coordination due to a congenital inner ear problem, and has never liked to exercise because she is convinced she will hurt herself. Without meaning to she taught me to think of myself in the same way, as someone incapable of vigorous physical activity.

Of course that was then, this is now, and I'm pretty much over it. Pretty much. Until I start to struggle. Really struggle, as in not being able to follow through on the commands of my "inner coach," the one who's telling me to drive down through my heels (or big toes if I'm in ballet class), lock out my knees, contract my glutes, pack my shoulders, straighten my wrists, lock out my elbows, breathe, yadda yadda yadda. Way too soon, the inner coach walks away in disgust and all that's left is my inner playground bully telling me "You suck," and even worse, "You can't."

So what's a girl to do? (I bet Pavel asks himself that all the time :)) I wouldn't be posting about this if I couldn't end on at least somewhat of an upbeat note, although I frankly admit that this awful negative inner voice/self-doubt thing is probably always going to be an issue for me. So here are my strategies, imperfect as they are:

1. Recommit: This is where I remind myself of the reasons why failure is not an option for me. When it comes to kettlebells, I want to be able to share the physical benefits of Hardstyle kettlebell training with as many people as possible, and the RKC certification is what will best prepare me to do that. Therefore I must do what it takes to get myself in "elite athlete" condition so I can get RKC-certified.

2. Regroup: This is where I look at my training. If I'm not making the strength and endurance gains I feel I should be making, there probably is something about my program that's at fault. First I try to pinpoint the problems with my performance, and then I try to come up with the appropriate corrective strategies. If I can't figure it out on my own, I enlist the aid of another trainer.

3. Be real: This is where I look at everything else going on in my life that might be interfering with my accomplishment of my physical goals. These obstacles are genuine and nontrivial for the most part. But they are not insurmountable. This is where Rachel Cosgrove helped me. In a recent blog post, "No More 'Buts' To Get Your Butt In Gear," she demonstrates the power of changing "but" statements to "and" statements.

Note the difference between these two statements:

1. "I am preparing for RKC certification but I have a lot of bad workout days due to the hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause;" and

2. "I am preparing for RKC certification and I have a lot of bad workout days due to the hormonal fluctuations of perimenopause."

In the first sentence I'm essentially giving myself an out, whereas in the second I'm posing a problem to be solved. And let me tell you, it's astonishing how quickly your mind gets to work devising solutions once you start seeing your problems as soluble!

I guess the takeaway message here is: the mind is an incredibly powerful thing. It can be your biggest enemy or your greatest ally. I recommend the latter. It's more fun that way unless for some reason you like abuse, in which case call me. (No, don't. The "Mistress Laura" thing is a joke, except maybe to the people who take my Tuesday lunchtime cycling class. And maybe a few others. Maybe :))

http://rachelcosgrove.blogspot.com/2009/07/no-more-buts-to-get-your-butt-in-gear.html

Strength Workout A (upper body) plus kettlebell practice

plus whatever else wanders into my mind as I write this post. I call my blogging style "stream of semi-consciousness."

Which is better, I suppose, than stream of self-consciousness. I wasted too many years of my life being self-conscious. It wasn't until I was well along in my 30s that it finally sunk in that most people are far too preoccupied with their own concerns even to notice what others are doing let alone think harshly of them for doing it. And those who do get off on judging others ... well, let's just say they've got Issues, so really it's not worth worrying what they think. Unless of course they happen to be related to you, but that's a subject for elsewhere.

Anyhoo, here's what yesterday looked like:

Alternating sets: incline BB press, 5x65; bentover BB row, 5x75, 5x80, 5x85, 5x90, 5x95

Superset: flat DB press, 8x40's, 2x10x40's; wide underhand grip recline row, 3x10

Tri-set: DB rear delt T-raise, 3x10x8's; BB curl, 10x30; 2x10x35; pushup, arms on SB, 3x10

I also did more cleans and getups, 5x5 cleans each arm, alternating with 5x1 getups each side, all with 12 kg. I'm feeling a bit more confident about my cleans. My wrist doesn't flop, my upper arm is staying pinned to my torso, and the bell isn't swinging as wide. It's still very much a work in progress, but progress is happening.

I'm going to see if I can get my husband to practice the shoulder-packing drill with me. That's the one where you lie on the floor with one arm extended overhead as if you were about to do a get-up, and your workout partner pulls on your arm to bring you to a sitting position. If your shoulderblade is properly depressed and retracted and your lats are firing, your shoulder should stay in place and you should come up "all in one piece." If that doesn't happen it means you've got some work to do before you'll be able to press heavy loads safely. This is one of those drills that's useful whether you're into kettlebells or not because we all need to be able to stabilize our shoulders so we can lift stuff (laundry baskets, luggage, moving boxes, offspring) safely.

So, that was yesterday. Today was an ETK Rite of Passage day, meaning more clean & press/pullup ladders and swings. Mondays are "light" days in terms of volume, and Wednesdays are "medium" days. Saturdays, therefore, are "heavy" days, but since I'm still in Week One the volume isn't all that horrific. The clean & press/pullup ladders today were still only 3 ladders x 3 rungs, and the timed swing interval was only 4 minutes long. It was an intense 4 minutes, though: 50 swings, rest 10 seconds, repeat until time is up. My usual cadence is about 40 swings per minute, so it took me roughly 75 seconds to complete a set of 50. All told I got in almost 3 complete sets in my 4 minutes. 140 reps total, I think.

I'm also thinking I should start watching my diet a little more, just to make sure that when I go to the RKC instructor certification course I weigh in at less than 123. I'm around 118 at the moment, which in itself is fine but the upward trend together with other hormonal weirdness makes me a little nervous. My other alternative is simply to plan on using a 16 kg kettlebell for the snatch test, but considering that I've never snatched a kettlebell heavier than 14 kg in my life it's a daunting prospect.

Not that daunting, though. I can do it. It's not that long ago that I was only using 8 kg on snatches and not feeling very good about them. Last Monday I did 60 in 5 minutes using a 12 kg kettlebell and easily could have done more if the program had called for it. I'm pretty sure they were all quality reps, too. My lockout at the top looked convincing to me, I felt in control of the bell throughout, and there were no bruises on my forearms afterward.

Monday kettlebell practice

One of the beauties of the RKC system is its simplicity. There are six foundation exercises: the swing, the clean, the press, the squat, the Turkish get-up, and the snatch. That's it. There are, of course, many other valid and wonderful things you can do with a kettlebell, but the main point of these is to help you get better at the foundational exercises.

My personal favorite assistance exercise is the windmill to overhead squat. I find it very helpful with the shoulder retraction and depression that's an integral part of the hardstyle "lock." Also, it flows nicely and looks cool, and it's just a nice way to change things up when I feel the need. It pairs nicely with snatches, presses, get-ups ... basically, any exercise where the end position consists of you standing there with the kettlebell overhead and your arm locked out.

Still, much as I enjoy more choreographed routines that incorporate a variety of exercises, sometimes it just feels good to get back to the basics. On those days I like to pick two foundation exercises and do alternating sets. Generally when I'm working on the foundational stuff I prefer to do reps instead of timed sets because I find it easier to focus on technique when I'm not trying to get in as many reps as possible in a minute or 30 seconds or whatever. Today, for instance, I opted to do alternating sets of squats and snatches, with each set starting on the minute and consisting of 10 reps total. I worked for 20 minutes total, so did a total of 100 squats and 50 snatches on each arm, using my 12 kg kettlebell throughout. The squats took a little longer to complete than the snatches, but on average the work to rest ratio during the workout was about 1:1. So, a relatively leisurely-seeming workout that really allowed me to think about what was happening on each rep. I noticed, for instance, that on my left side I have a tendency to get sloppy on the descent during snatches when I'm a little fatigued. This is when self-talk comes in handy: "Keep the damn shoulder back and down, you miserable worm!" and that sort of thing.

(Note: I never talk to clients that way, and I would never work with a trainer who was verbally abusive. But for some reason I don't pay attention to myself unless I'm calling myself names. Is there a support group out there for people like me?)